Here are more things


Here is my face.

I have hands and feet and other parts too, but I prefer to keep some things private.

If it's helpful in imagining the rest of me, one time a guy I used to bone described me as "sort of like a hot Gumby."

I was offended by that description at the time but then a while back I had vagina surgery and I walked a lot like Gumby for a couple of weeks so maybe he was just seeing into the future? He was describing my body, though, not the way I walk, so I don't know. Possible I was wearing a lot of boot-cut jeans at the time.

For the record, the bottom part of my legs are shaped normally, regardless of the type of jeans I might be wearing. And I'm not green.

Not at all like Gumby, really, I don't know what that guy was talking about.

I'm sure you were hoping for more from this bio than how my body was once inaccurately described, but if I tell you everything in this one little box, I'm not sure why you'd read all the other great stuff on my blog.

Plus, there's a lot you can tell from this picture of my face.
  • I'm a white person, for one.
  • I'm also a female.
  • If you look closely, you can see some grey hair, which means I'm no spring chicken.
  • I'm smiling with my mouth closed - could be I have eff'd up teeth or possibly my neck muscles get all weird when the corners of my mouth go up too high. Maybe both.
  • I might live in a house with a blue door. (I don't.)
  • Finally, it appears that on the day this photo was taken, something interesting was happening to my right.

There. Now you know some stuff about me.


The Wonder of a Weiner

I just took a walk with the Hot Canadian and it was seriously batshit lovely. Without all the menacing double-decker busses, and face-stabbing winds, Edinburgh's pretty nice.

Plus, there are big hills and old castles, both of which have seen much worse than the current fecalfest we're all stewing in.

That might not be much comfort since hills and buildings are mostly made of rocks, and rocks don't generally get diseases. And all the people who were around when those castles were built are dead now. Still, the sentiment sounds profound if you don't think about it too hard, so I'll ask that you repeat it to people and quote me when you say it.

See, you can find solace in things if you look for it.

The universe is all a big coordinated thing, right? There's a big grand plan or whatever?

I haven't believed in that for a long time, but then the other day, the Hot Canadian was looking at his phone and an ad for some sort of fitness app popped up... he looks at me and says "Hey how'd they get this picture of me?!" and turns his phone around so I can see it. At that exact moment, the ad switched from a picture of a bodybuilder to a picture of a hot dog.

Faith restored.

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