Here is my face.

I have hands and feet and other parts too, but I prefer to keep some things private.

If it's helpful in imagining the rest of me, one time a guy I used to bone described me as "sort of like a hot Gumby."

I was offended by that description at the time but then a while back I had vagina surgery and I walked a lot like Gumby for a couple of weeks so maybe he was just seeing into the future? He was describing my body, though, not the way I walk, so I don't know. Possible I was wearing a lot of boot-cut jeans at the time.

For the record, the bottom part of my legs are shaped normally, regardless of the type of jeans I might be wearing. And I'm not green.

Not at all like Gumby, really, I don't know what that guy was talking about.

I'm sure you were hoping for more from this bio than how my body was once inaccurately described, but if I tell you everything in this one little box, I'm not sure why you'd read all the other great stuff on my blog.

Plus, there's a lot you can tell from this picture of my face.
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I'm a white person, for one.
I'm also a female.
If you look closely, you can see some grey hair, which means I'm no spring chicken.
I'm smiling with my mouth closed - could be I have eff'd up teeth or possibly my neck muscles get all weird when the corners of my mouth go up too high. Maybe both.
I might live in a house with a blue door. (I don't.)
Finally, it appears that on the day this photo was taken, something interesting was happening to my right.

There. Now you know some stuff about me.

Bye.

Oh, Hey Stranger

March 12, 2020

I got a bad haircut from a Scottish conspiracy theorist and then I lost my credit card at the ramen place where the ramen was great last time but not at all great this time, and then later the Hot Canadian was like “maybe don’t do that one thing when we’re doing you know what, how about that other thing, maybe do that instead?” which is perfectly acceptable, even on a day when you got a bad haircut but then I literally farted in front of a stranger on the side walk.

It’s been a rough night is what I’m saying. But here I am doing something productive (if you can what I'm doing here "productive"), so I’m proud of myself and it’s all fine and I’m 99% sure I’ll be really pleased with tomorrow, no matter what happens.

Lovingly filed under:

mortifications

complaints

Here are more things

Here is my face.

Oh, Hey Stranger

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