Here is my face.
I have hands and feet and other parts too, but I prefer to keep some things private.
If it's helpful in imagining the rest of me, one time a guy I used to bone described me as "sort of like a hot Gumby."
I was offended by that description at the time but then a while back I had vagina surgery and I walked a lot like Gumby for a couple of weeks so maybe he was just seeing into the future? He was describing my body, though, not the way I walk, so I don't know. Possible I was wearing a lot of boot-cut jeans at the time.
For the record, the bottom part of my legs are shaped normally, regardless of the type of jeans I might be wearing. And I'm not green.
Not at all like Gumby, really, I don't know what that guy was talking about.
I'm sure you were hoping for more from this bio than how my body was once inaccurately described, but if I tell you everything in this one little box, I'm not sure why you'd read all the other great stuff on my blog.
Plus, there's a lot you can tell from this picture of my face.
- I'm a white person, for one.
- I'm also a female.
- If you look closely, you can see some grey hair, which means I'm no spring chicken.
- I'm smiling with my mouth closed - could be I have eff'd up teeth or possibly my neck muscles get all weird when the corners of my mouth go up too high. Maybe both.
- I might live in a house with a blue door. (I don't.)
- Finally, it appears that on the day this photo was taken, something interesting was happening to my right.
There. Now you know some stuff about me.
We’ll call it “What Happens in Vagus (Nerve)”
March 25, 2020
I think my body should have its own reality show. All my parts would stuff themselves into really skimpy outfits and have fake laughs and wear way too much makeup. And then one day my vagina would be like “I’m gonna ruin your birthday, you bitch!” and then the next day my shoulder would be like...
March 16, 2020
The world is not ending. We’ll get through this. Even if everything shuts down, it will all be fine. I’ll be fine. The Hot Canadian will be fine. (He’s already fine. As in “dayuuuum” fine, you know what I mean.) Mom and Dad will be fine. And if they’re not...
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