Claus I Said So

Here is my face.

I have hands and feet and other parts too, but I prefer to keep some things private.

If it's helpful in imagining the rest of me, one time a guy I used to bone described me as "sort of like a hot Gumby."

I was offended by that description at the time but then a while back I had vagina surgery and I walked a lot like Gumby for a couple of weeks so maybe he was just seeing into the future? He was describing my body, though, not the way I walk, so I don't know. Possible I was wearing a lot of boot-cut jeans at the time.

For the record, the bottom part of my legs are shaped normally, regardless of the type of jeans I might be wearing. And I'm not green.

Not at all like Gumby, really, I don't know what that guy was talking about.

I'm sure you were hoping for more from this bio than how my body was once inaccurately described, but if I tell you everything in this one little box, I'm not sure why you'd read all the other great stuff on my blog.

Plus, there's a lot you can tell from this picture of my face.
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I'm a white person, for one.
I'm also a female.
If you look closely, you can see some grey hair, which means I'm no spring chicken.
I'm smiling with my mouth closed - could be I have eff'd up teeth or possibly my neck muscles get all weird when the corners of my mouth go up too high. Maybe both.
I might live in a house with a blue door. (I don't.)
Finally, it appears that on the day this photo was taken, something interesting was happening to my right.

There. Now you know some stuff about me.

Bye.

Here is an introduction

Hey, person, welcome to my blog.

My name is Kelly. Last name, Claus. Which is why I've named my blog what I've named it. Clever, right?

I write stuff and put it here and other places on the internet. Sometimes I write about fun things like when I learned how to do a snot rocket. Sometimes I write about scary things like this movie I saw once were these kids almost drown in corn (kill me). Other times I write about things I'm making online, which sounds way less fun than those other things I mentioned, but I promise it's not.

Often, I complain.
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Hopefully the things I complain about are the things you also complain about so when you read those posts you'll be like "Right on, sister!" and not "Goddamn, what a downer."

I really want you to like me, so let's go with that first one, k?

Ho hum, anyways. Scroll down if you want to read things. Or click around for other things. Or go do other stuff. Whatever suits you.

Bye.

Here are blog posts

Yesterday: The best

February 20, 2020

Had perfect lattes and tasty toasty things for breakfast and then I wrote and wrote, and snuggled with the Hot Canadian on the couch doing the crossword. Had dinner with Old Friend Caitlin...

Here is more stuff

Here is a thing to do

I can email you all these things, every time I write them. Maybe fun?

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Here is my face.

Here are more things

Here is an introduction

Here are blog posts

Here is more stuff

Here is a thing to do

Bye.